I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
