dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
