cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
