you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
