She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
