Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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