Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
