i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize