He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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