just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
