I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
