If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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