My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
