wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize