I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
time to smoke my breakfast
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
