I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
