That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
