Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
