so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
