So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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