You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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