Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
