that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
