My brain says no but my pants say off.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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