Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
