I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
