nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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