I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize