My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
