I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
