Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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