i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
