did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
