what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Im part way to drunk.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
