I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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