I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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