This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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