hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Welp...herpes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize