Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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