Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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