I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
