My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
