I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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