i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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