you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
