worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize