i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
