My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My life is pants optional.
Randomize