I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think people are normalizing furries
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize