***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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