I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
