it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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