I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
