Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
