Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
