Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
my poor anus
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
