Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
