update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
