There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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