UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
