God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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