she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
