Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
