I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
