Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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