So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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