Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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