I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
